Family

Family (17)

MonApr29

Granddaughter of Deer Acres brings Rock-A-Bye-Baby Home

Rock-a-Bye-Baby, from Deer Acres, Pinconning, MI made the trip to her new home today. My Grandpa and Grandma, Ernie and Eleanore Cederberg, created Deer Acres, a beautiful Storybook Park, in 1958. Many of you visited the park when you were children, so you know what I'm talking about when I say it was a special place.

My memories of this place are endless, as are those of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings. Even my children enjoyed Deer Acres when they were younger, before it closed it's doors in about 2012.

I can't explain all the stories I have today, but I will write up some blogs for future reading. For now, I wanted to just share with you that my Grandma carved all the pieces in the park...from styrofoam. Each winter they would be brought from the park into the basement of her home, so she could repaint them. Whether it was Jack and Jill who greeted you at the door, or the Old Woman in the Shoe, who had carvings of little children all around her, each one was created by Grandma.

Well, several of the figurines represented or were modeled after family members. Each of her children were one of the children scattered around the Old Woman scene. And well, Rock-a-Bye-Baby, was me. Yup. I was the oldest grandchild, and although many of the pieces were already created when I was born, she made the Rock-a-Bye-Baby after me. You can see the picture of her and I together under the "tree". I treasure that picture.

When I heard the current owner was selling the property, I started reaching out to the owner. We were struggling to connect. Unbeknownst to me, my wonderful sister, was also reaching out to the owner, to surprise me with seeing if she could get the baby for me. Thanks Mo.

And last week, the connection was made. The owner had set aside the baby for me to bring home. When they carried her out to me today, a flood of emotions overwhelmed me. Memories. Grandma. Grandpa. My Aunt and Uncle who owned and operated the place after my grandparents. Childhood adventures. After park fun hours. Finding treasures in the Souvenir Shop. It just poured over me as the baby was placed in the vehicle. I am so thankful to have brought her home. She needs a little washing. Maybe a couple touch ups of paint. But she's perfect to me. And I don't think I have ever seen her up close. I always saw her up in the tree. So to see her sucking her thumb, just like I did...for way too many years...well, let's just say that blonde hair and that thumb sucking...that's me. And I'm so grateful to have this little lady at home tonight. Thank you Teresa for this gift. It means more than you know.

As you can see in the pictures, my parents went with me today. It was an emotional and fun adventure, as we walked the park. And we left with more than the baby. We also brought home Tom Sawyer, who was fishing....so he will be perfect by our pond. And we brought home the Little Old Lady from the shoe. She will be perfect in my mom's flower garden. And I got a chair from the Three Bears house too. That was all we could fit in the vehicle.

If you would like to hear more about my Deer Acres adventures, please head to the link below the pictures and/or follow me on Facebook. I'm looking forward to writing more about blogs, and I even have a story about Deer Acres and Grandma in the devotion book I recently published. If you've been to Deer Acres, you know very well how special of a place it was. I'd love to hear your memories and /or how my grandparents, aunt and uncle, or the park fit into your life. Thanks! Have a wonderful day!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive notice of her blogs, and links to Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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MonApr29

Marriage Monday: 5 Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage, Bringing Gratitude into Your Marriage, Giving Thanks for Your Spouse

Marriage Monday:

5 Steps for Bringing Gratitude into Your Marriage

Todd and I enjoyed an entire Saturday at home this past weekend. With two sons getting married in the next month, it was a wonderful weekend to soak in one another before the wonderful weeks ahead place some extra commitments on our plate.

By Saturday evening, we had both spent time going in and out of the house, sort of rotating between work around the house and relaxation. As the sun was beginning to set, we took a walk around the yard and landed in the chairs overlooking the water. We soaked in the sunset, the sounds of the birds surrounding us, and the warmth of one another’s bodies. I sat nestled under his arm with my head resting on his shoulder, and closed my eyes. After close to 40 years of marriage, his shoulder was still one of my favorite places to rest. It always brings me peace, comfort, strength, assurance.

In the silence, my mind began to reflect upon the many ways I am grateful for this man. The list in my mind just kept growing. From his hard work around the yard to his love for his family. From his passion for ministry to his desire to provide for us. From his hunger for personal spiritual growth to his desire to see others know Jesus. From the way he looks at me when I’m being silly to the way he opens the door for me when we go out. The list continued. And then I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes.

“Babe,” I said with an inquisitive smile, “Do you ever just look at me and think of how thankful you are for me?”

He kept my gaze and softly responded, “That’s what I was just doing.” And he kissed me.

It is so important in our marriages to share with one another the gratitude we feel for the other. Life is crazy busy and if we aren’t intentional, it just won’t happen. It isn’t necessarily because we aren’t thankful or grateful for our spouse; it could truly because we aren’t making it a priority to leave ourselves time to lean into the art of gratitude for him/her.

I know I mention “priority” almost every week in my Marriage Monday, but that’s because it’s important! We must prioritize what’s important. And it is of utmost importance to share with your spouse the gratitude you feel for them. Unfortunately, you might be making a list of all the things he/she does that bother you. Or maybe you’re not in a good spot in your marriage right now, so you are stopping yourself from even allowing anything pure and good about them to enter your mind. I challenge you to stop that today. Satan loves to grab our train of thought and head it down a negative direction. Before we know it, it’s hard to get dug out of that rut. I’m asking you today, to make an intentional decision to get out of the negative rut. And to make a gratitude attitude adjustment this week. I have faith in you! You can do it! Check out the Practical Tips below to get started on the journey to strengthening your marriage. Because your marriage matters!

Practical Tips for Strengthening Your Marriage this Week

*Pause and pray. Ask God to forgive you for any negative thoughts you have been holding against your spouse, and ask Him to renew your mind with thoughts of gratitude.

*Grab a piece of paper and write down at least five characteristics in which you are thankful for your spouse. Do this each day this week, so you have a list tucked away to refer to when you need the reminder.

*Leave your spouse a note on his/her mirror, pillow, coffee pot, vehicle (you get the idea) that tells him/her specific areas in which you are thankful for him/her. Do this several times this week.

*Take your spouse by the hand, or in your arms, look him/her in the eyes and tell him/her, “I am so grateful for ___________. Thank you for caring for me/us in this way.” Do this several times this week.

*Have a conversation with your spouse and discuss how you both can move forward with making the sharing of gratitude a priority. This could be making gratitude lists and setting aside a special time to share them with one another. Perhaps you could commit to sharing something you are thankful for each night before you go to bed. There are many ideas you could implement; enjoy creating them and soak in the blessings that sharing your gratitude for your spouse brings to your marriage.

Todd and Misty are certified Marriage Mentors, and are commited to helping others strengthen their marriage. Thank you for reading this blog. If you found it helpful, please like, message, comment, or pass it on to someone else. Thanks! You may also sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters.

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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FriApr19

When Delight Disappears, Marriage Monday, Six Tips for Your Marriage, Making Time for Your Marriage

Marriage Monday: When Delight Disappears

"Is this really all there is," she said to me as she evalutated her marriage.

"The spark is gone," another person added.

So often couples glance over at their spouse, and wonder where the fun, excitement, anticipation...the list goes on... went in their marriage. When did the delight they had with their spouse disappear? Many times they can't really place a finger on an exact moment. It just seems to be something that slowly disappeard. Like a blazing fire that gradually died, until barely an ember was to be found.

Many times the delight left because your marriage was no longer a focus. Perhaps children came into the family; you found your lives saturated with filling their needs, putting the needs and desires of your spouse on the back burner. Perhaps health issues arose within the family; you found yourself busy with appointments and your seemed physically too drained to pour into your marriage. Perhaps financial issues have drained the delight from your marriage. The stress of not knowing how to pay the bills created a wedge between you and your spouse. The reasons are endless, and I know they take a toll. Our marriage has gone through the adjustments of children, health issues, and financial struggles. And that is why I can come to you to let you know there is hope. You can choose to fan the flame and bring that delight back into your marriage.

The definition of delight is to have great gratitude, pleasure, and joy in something. Doesn't that sound like something you want in your marriage? And if it is something you want, why are you walking around without it?

Let's bring back the delight! Dive back in and stop that delight from disappearing. Like most pieces of our marriages, this won't be something that will be fixed overnight. But as you pour oxygen onto that ember, the ember will beging to flicker. And when you place more and more kindling on it, it will catch. And you will be able to rebuild that massive fire you once enjoyed.

Below are some practical tips for you to start doing with your spouse. And I hope they will stop the delight from disappearing, or bring the delight back if it has begun to disappear.

*Have a conversation with your spouse. Ask them if they feel the "delight" you once had in your marriage has already disappeared or has begun to disappear?

*Between the two of you, jot down some ideas of activities you would like to see implemented into your marriage. Perhaps these are things you have let slide over the years. What did you used to do as a couple that you both enjoyed and found helpful in building your marriage?

*Take time daily to verbally encourage one another.

*Take time daily to physically touch one another. This may or may not be sexual. It could be simply a kiss. Stroking their hair. Rubbing of the shoulders. Holding hands.

*Take time to date again. Go over your weekly calendar, and set a date. Even if it needs to be simply taking a walk with just the two of you for a half hour. Prioritize time together.

*Check back in with one another after a week of implementing these tips. How are you feeling about the other? What ideas can you add to the next week?

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters.

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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MonMar04

Marriage Monday: The Need to be Right, Arguments in Marriage, My Spouse is Wrong; I'm Right, Helpful Discussions in Marriage, Marriage Tips,

Marriage Monday: I'm Right! You're Wrong!

“If you turn left here, we will get there more quickly.”

“No, I drive this all the time, this way is quicker.”

“I just drove this yesterday, and it is quicker if you turn left.”

Voice inflections change. Eyes roll. The mood of the trip just changed.

“You never reached out to me.”

“I reached out first, last time. I was waiting for you this time.”

“What a joke! You never reach out to me first. I always have to be the one to initiate.”

Words get harsher. The sound of pain makes its way through the conversation.

“About ten years ago we went and visited Uncle Joe.”

“That was not ten years ago. It was only eight.”

“It was ten years! I remember cuz it was close to his 70^th birthday.”

Argument ensues. Tension grows.

What is it about us and our great need to be “RIGHT”? Even to the point we are willing to argue about topics that add no value to our daily lives. To the point that often times, we don’t even remember the topic of the initial argument. Years ago, my husband and I went to a marriage retreat, and speaker, Tom Harmon, gave this wise advice: “Give up the RIGHT to be RIGHT.”

What? You mean when I am RIGHT, I can just let “it” go and allow the other person to be RIGHT? Yes, it is possible. And it is a valuable tool to use in a marriage, as well as in any other relationship. When we relinquish this RIGHT, we are sacrificing self by putting the other person’s needs first. Because to be honest, many (I realize there are exceptions) of the arguments we have, are not worth battling over. They are not worth damaging the relationship. They are not worth hurting the other person. They are not worth the journey down the long ugly road. They are not worth damaging any children within earshot.

Perhaps turning left was quicker, but did the argument add value to the relationship? Maybe the other person didn’t reach out last time; are we prepared to lose the relationship over who is RIGHT. And maybe it was only eight years ago since we visited Uncle Joe, but wasn’t the goal of the conversation to set up a time to go visit him again?

I’m certainly not going to say it’s easy to relinquish the RIGHT to be RIGHT. My husband will testify to the fact that I don’t find it easy; in fact, he is much better at it than I. But I will continue to remind myself that it’s not about who is RIGHT. It’s about loving and honoring the other person, and investing in the building of relationships.

Bible Verses for today's Marriage Monday

Let no corrupt talk come from your mouths, but only that which is used to build others up. Eph 4:29

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, Matthew 7:12

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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SunFeb25

Chosen by God, Identity in Christ, God Sees You, Feelings of being Unseen, Unheard,

From Unseen, Overlooked, and Never Chosen to Seen and Chosen. Identity in Christ.

As I exited the middle school locker room, I heard the teacher holler out the words I hated most during gym class.

“Everyone line up on the sideline. We are going to pick teams for….insert kickball, dodgeball, softball, or about any other sport.”

My shy personality would shrink within my small-framed body, as I slumped, attempting to disappear from what had become my normal for this phase of my childhood. My head would hang low, as my anxiety would rise.

My classmates would run to stand on the line, eager to get started on this routine of choosing teams. I’m sure there must have been others who felt like I did, however, at the time, I felt like I was the only one dreading this moment.

Two athletic students were chosen to “Captain” the teams, and the choosing began. Joe. Sue. Mike. Mary. The names rattled off, as those chosen ran to take their spot behind the Captain. Sam. Sally. Dave. Karen. More students running to their spots. Less of us standing on the sideline. John. Cindy. Pat. Donna. And so, it continued. By the time my name was called off, the sideline was clear. Often times my name didn’t need to be said aloud; as the last one standing, I would walk out and join whatever team had the “last pick”.

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you felt you were not seen? A time you were overlooked? A time when you weren’t one of the “chosen”?

I would imagine most of us have experienced that at some level. Perhaps it was at school, like my example. Maybe it has been within your family. You have felt unseen and unheard within the very walls of your own house. Perhaps for you it was at work. You worked hard; you put extra hours in. Only to be ignored and overlooked. Maybe you have experienced this within your friend group. You find yourself on the “outside” of the inside jokes, unsure if these people are really your friends. Maybe for you it’s within your marriage. You aren’t heard or understood, and it appears your spouse doesn’t see you.

I’m not sure of your situation, but I want you to know the truth. You are seen. You are not overlooked. You are chosen. Although I wish I could change your circumstances to make you feel that truth within the situations mentioned above, I cannot change the people around you. But what I can do, is offer you the truth to walk through those situations with your head held high.

You see, we have a God who is crazy about us. In 1 Peter 2:9-10, it says, “I am a chosen race”. In Ephesians 1, it says, “For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world.” And in Galatians 3:26 it says, “For you…(that’s you! ) Are all daughters of God through faith in Christ.”

There are so many more scriptures that share with us how important we are to God. Read those verses above again. It says you are “chosen”…that means, even when you’re standing on the sidelines alone. It says you are His “daughter/son”…even when you feel overlooked.

God knows every part of your being, and He sees you. He never overlooks you. He chose you. He loves you so much that He gave His only son to die on the cross for you. This Son, Jesus, rose from the dead three days later, giving us a chance at abundant life here on earth and eternal life with Him when our time on earth is complete.

Practical Tip: Write the TRUTH on some sticky notes and place them around your house. "I am Chosen." "I am Loved." "I am Valued." Put them on your bathroom mirror. Put them on your coffee pot. Place them on your bedside table. Don't let lies cover the TRUTH about the value you actually hold.

If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, let me know and I will share with you how to begin one. And if you already do, lean into that. Remind yourself through the scriptures that whether you have a rough day at school, work, or in your own family, you are loved, seen, and chosen. You are never overlooked by your Heavenly Father.

©Misty Cramer 2024

Misty Cramer is a best-selling author & national speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and three granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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MonFeb12

Marriage Monday: Listening to Your Spouse, Fixer to Listener, Differences Between Men & Women, Hearing Your Spouse, Marriage Monday, Love through Listening

Marriage Monday: Fixer to Listener

Are you a fixer or a listener? The scenario looks something like this:

Spouse A: “Honey, I just had a horrible day. You wouldn’t believe what happened at work! And then I came home to the kids having problems…” The conversation continues with Spouse A downloaded the difficulties of the day.

Obviously exhausted, they plop down on the couch and wait for reassurance and comfort from Spouse B.

Spouse B: “I think you probably should have just told so-and-so at work to mind their own business. And you know, I’ve been saying that we need to tell those kids they just can’t...”. The conversation continues with Spouse B sharing all the wonderful ideas they have that could fix the difficulties shared by Spouse A.

Todd and I have been there. Spouse A generally is simply wanting to download their frustrations and receive affirmation from Spouse B. And yet, the temptation for Spouse B is to “fix” the problems shared by Spouse A. After all, they have a problem. They shared it. They certainly must want an answer. Otherwise, why would they have shared the problem?

Can you relate to this at all within your marriage? Generally, but not all the time, Spouse A is the wife and Spouse B is the husband. Often times, the wife desires to download her day, without being told how she could fix whatever issues she may have disclosed.

Sometimes, she has actually dealt with the problem already. Other times, she is tired and doesn’t want the “fix” at that moment. And sometimes, she simply wants to unload. She desires for her spouse to listen to her, comfort her, and offer reassurance that he loves her. She wants a shoulder to cry on and an ear to hear.

However, God wired men with a desire to “fix” problems. Frequently when they hear their wife download the difficulties, their brains begin to process and they begin thinking of truly great ways to fix the problems. They want to love their wife by sharing with her the ideas of how they can help to make her situation better.

As wives, we often just think the hubby is rude. Why can’t you just hear me? Love me? And on the opposite side, the guy is not trying to be rude. He is listening. And his method of loving you is to show you the answer to your problem.

Let’s get on the same page. If you’re the spouse who needs to vent and wants the “ear”, but not the “answer”, then let your spouse know that before you download to them.

And if you’re the spouse who is on the receiving end of this download, have your spouse clarify what they would like from you in this situation. A simple, “Honey, would you like me to simply listen to you today or did you want me to think of how I can help you with this situation?”

As with most challenges in our marriages, communication is key. The receiver in this situation could have very good intentions when they offer help. And yet, if Spouse A was coming with the intention of solely wanting to download, the help is only going to raise the already tense mood. Be clear of the expectations before the conversation even begins.

Intentional Tips for Your Marriage this Week:

*Have a conversation with your spouse and ask each other:

Do you feel heard by me when you share about the challenges you encounter during the day?

How do you think I can improve on my listening?

Are there times when you feel I try to fix the problem, rather than just tune in and listen to you?

Before you download something to me, do you feel comfortable letting me know that you just want me to listen to you?

Do you understand that in the past when I have shared my suggestions that it was done out of love?

When I have ideas that could help your situation, what would be the best time and manner for me to share them with you?

I hope you have a wonderful week and that you remember to prioritize your marriage...because it matters.

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Sign up here to receive reminders and links to Marriage Monday and Misty's monthly devotional newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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SatFeb03

Remember to Continue to Love, Practical Ways to Love your Spouse, Don't Forget Your Love

Marriage Monday: Remember...Continue to Love

The flirting started in the basement of our friend’s house when Todd and I were seniors in high school. We enjoy arguing about who initiated said flirting. The story was that the initiator took a shoe from the foot of the other and threw it across the room. Well, I dug out this 40 years old picture this week. (Thanks to whichever friend happened to take it…back in the days when you actually had to have a camera and develop the photo!  ) While looking at this picture, it is pretty clear that Todd has both of his shoes still on and it looks to me like he’s taking mine. I’m not sure he has a defense any longer. Todd, you were flirting with me. (And yes, I’m glad you were.)

Dating can be a time when showing the other how much we love them comes a little easier. Generally, we are working hard to show that person the best of us. We figure out what they enjoy. We long to spend time with them. We go out of our way to cater to their needs. We come up with special ways to show our love.

And often times, we find ourselves years down the road, wondering why that person isn’t loving us the way they once did. You know, life begins to happen. Schedules fill up. Kids come along. Money is hard to come by. Health issues arise. And we begin to take the other for granted. We put them on the back burner. We prioritize work and kids above our spouse. We look around and wonder what happened to that flirting. What happened to the person who used to go out of their way to make us feel loved?

I’m here to say, you don’t have to let that happen in your marriage. Come on! Put the time, creativity, and energy into your marriage! Besides your relationship with Jesus, there should be nothing else that comes above the investment you put into the person next to you bed.

I am not saying it’s always easy. In fact, you may be at a place in your marriage where the thought of investing into your spouse gives you a headache. Well, take a deep breath. Make a commitment to begin today to show them how much you love and appreciate them. Once you make it a part of your daily life, it will get easier. Your actions will become part of who you are again. And more than likely, they will be reciprocated.

As Todd and I were talking about this topic, we both came up with some actions that make us feel loved by the other.

Todd feels especially loved by me when I:

*spend time working on a home or yard project with him

*watch a Todd choice movie with him

*attend an event with him that he knows I would rather not attend

*recognize his need to be alone and/or have a break from other people

I feel especially loved by Todd when he:

*spends time playing a game with me

*brings me a treat from the store without me requesting it

*finds a movie for us to watch that I know is much higher on my “like” list that his

*takes a walk around the yard with me

*shares with someone about something he is proud of me for accomplishing

As you can see by the examples, there isn’t financial cost attributed to these actions. They are simply actions created by tuning into the needs and desires of the person. Making the other a priority.

Take some time to invest in your marriage by going over the tips below with your spouse.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Ask your spouse to list three things that make him/her feel loved by you. If they didn’t read this article, give them a couple examples from above to help them get started.

*Look over that list and write on your calendar when you will carry out those actions. (Things that get put on your calendar have a much better chance of being completed. Remember, your spouse is your priority.)

*Carry out those actions.

*Continue carrying out those actions in the weeks ahead. See if you begin to notice a difference in your spouse and in your marriage.

Do you find Marriage Monday helpful? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Message me. Comment on the blog. And give a “thumbs up” and share. Thank you!

Sign up here for the monthly devotion: https://mailchi.mp/7844a4ba7f8b/welcome

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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SunDec10

Marriage Monday: Please Let Me Relax/I Can't Do One More Thing/Slow Down

Marriage Monday: Please Let Me Relax

Whether it’s coming home from a family vacation or returning home from a ministry trip, I need time and space to recoup. And Todd…well, the man just rebounds more quickly than I do. While I need time to catch up on some sleep…multiple nights worth; he gets one night of sleep and is ready to hit the regular schedule again. I need time to reorganize my brain, sort through my emotions, revisit the experience; he does that stuff quickly and bounces right back. I wish I could pull that off, but honestly, I just can't.

Before I went through our Marriage Mentoring Course, I had contributed this to a lack of physical energy on my part, thinking I just was frailer or something. Well, that wasn’t it at all. One of our assessments explained that I fall under a Medium Low Capacity and Todd falls under Medium High Capacity. It is referring to the emotional capacity each of us have, basically how quickly we get stressed when juggling a demanding schedule, as well as how long we need to recover from events.

Hurray! I am not lazy or physically frail. I’m just different from Todd. Neither one is better than the other; they’re just different. We handle our “stuff” differently and need different recovering periods.

Can you see how this might be something that could cause some issues in a marriage? If we don’t understand that we are wired differently, created differently, we could have unrealistic expectations for our spouse.

If Todd doesn’t understand that I am going to need a few days to recover and regroup from our ten-day Florida Trip with 150 students, he could get frustrated and even angry at me when I can’t push forward in the same way he does. Instead, he has learned to adjust his expectations for me. He knows it will take me a few days, and that during that time I am processing the trip, getting re-energized, and resting up so I can be more effective when I get rolling again.

On the opposite side of that, I have found myself frustrated with him because he does rebound so quickly. I have thought he was pushing himself too much, not taking the necessary breaks. When in actuality, he has gotten his rest, and just feels ready to get out and move forward more quickly than I do. And that’s ok. I need to let him do that.

We are each created differently. Let’s celebrate that fact! When we understand these differences and value them, allowing them to be assets instead of barriers in our marriage, we can be excited about making our marriages stronger.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Would you describe yourself as a High Capacity or Low Capacity? How about your spouse?

*Have you been frustrated by the differences between you and your spouse in this area of your marriage?

*How will you respond differently to your spouse after being aware of these differences?

Have a wonderful week. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it. Thank you!

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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SunNov26

Marriage Monday: Navigating our Introvert & Extrovert Tendencies during the Holidays

Marriage Monday: Introverts, Extoverts, & Holidays

The house was filled with people for four days. The table had all its leaf’s in it. Additional tables were added to the room to make sure every person had a seat. From morning to evening there was activity. Games. Movies. Ping pong. Shopping. Conversation. Eating. The list goes on. And my husband, Todd and I loved it. We soaked in every moment. When the weekend wrapped up with a four generation Dance Party in our basement, we couldn’t help but smile. We couldn’t stop the tears of gratitude from forming in our eyes.

And then everyone left; we were exhausted. This takes us to today’s Marriage Monday topic, Introvert or Extrovert. An introvert gains energy and refuels their emotional tank through alone time. They generally prefer one on one conversations to large group ones. They often have a small group of close friends instead of a large number of friends. Todd and I are both introverts. What does this mean for us when the last hugs are given, the waves good-bye are completed, and the last vehicle pulls out of the driveway? I thought we'd give you a little glimpse into our Sunday...with the hopes it may encourage you in your marriage as we all continue with the holiday season.

Here's how our Sunday afternoon unfolded:

*We looked at each other, embraced, and gave one another a kiss.

*We shared about how wonderful the long weekend was with all who were present.

*We mutually discussed what the day would hold now that everyone had left the house.

*As introverts, we agreed to give each other space. He worked on stuff outside, did dishes, watched tv, got Christmas decorations out of the closet, and a whole lot more. I grabbed my book orders, my computer, found the kitchen counter once again, wrote this blog, cleaned off the table, and watched some Hallmark.

*We sat down and had dinner together.

*When dinner was finished, we decided to connect again in two hours to get ready for bed and enjoy a movie together to officially close out the wonderful weekend.

*Also, as we passed one another throughout the day, we smiled, shared in a kiss, or a touch on the shoulder…and then went about continuing to refuel our depleted emotional tank.

How about you? Are you introverted or extroverted? Do you fill your emotional tank with some alone time or with other people? What gives you energy?

These are important questions to ask in a marriage. Without good communication, it can get complicated when one spouse is an introvert and one is an extrovert. One person may need some alone time, while the other may desire to have friends over or keep the activity level going strong.

Even when spouses have the same, like Todd and I, there can be hurdles to jump. As two introverts, we need to be sure we are taking time for one another. Just because we can emotionally charge alone, doesn’t mean we should do that all the same time. We need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.

And when both spouses are extroverts, they need to also make alone time a priority. They may feel energized by being in larger groups, which could tempt them to solely do activities with others. But they also need to arrange times to come together, and focus on one another.

As with many pieces within a marriage, continuing to learn about one another is so important. There’s always something new to learn and apply to our marriages, as we work to create the very best marriage possible. Remember, neither the introvert or extrovert is correct or better than the other. They are simply different. Check out this week’s Intentional Marriage Tips below:

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Identify whether you are an introvert or extrovert

*Have a conversation with your spouse about whether they are an introvert or extrovert

*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel depleted emotionally

*Share with one another a few examples of times when you feel energized emotionally

*Ask your spouse what you could do this week to help energize them

*Discuss what could be done before, during, and after the next holiday event to help your spouse feel loved, appreciated, and energized

Have a wonderful week, and take some time to check out the marriage tips below. I would love to hear how you made the decision to have those difficult conversations because you acknowledged your marriage was worth it. Please feel free to leave a comment or question on the form below, or connect with me on Facebook and Instagram. And if you found this blog helpful, please remember to “like” it; it helps to get the article out to more couples. Thanks! Here are the tips for the week.

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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SunNov19

Marriage Monday: Still Processing

Marriage Monday: Still Processing!

A decision needs to be made. A problem needs to be solved. Feelings are shared. Maybe even with a hint of frustration. Questions about how we will find a solution are thrown out there. And then…silence. Yup, this is a scenario that has happened in our marriage and maybe in yours too.

Todd and I are both internal processors. As internal processors, we prefer to make decisions and sort through our feelings and facts in private. And, that often takes some time. I lean toward this way of processing even more than Todd. My silence doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it. It doesn’t mean I forgot about our discussion. It doesn’t mean I didn’t find our conversation valuable. It just means I need to have time to reflect all by myself for a while. Maybe hours. Maybe even days.

Can you see how that may be frustrating to a spouse if the spouse is what’s called an external processor? An external processor wants to talk aloud. He wants to have conversation, talk through those facts and feelings with another person. Can you see how that could be frustrating for the spouse who wants to have some quiet time to consider things on her own?

As an internal processor, I need to be sure to communicate to my spouse that I have not forgotten about the important conversation; I am simply still thinking on it. And as an external processor, I need to be conscious about not overtalking; I need to provide him an opportunity to reflect quietly if that is what he needs.

Neither of these are “correct”. They are simply different. In order to respond to our spouse properly, it’s important for us to understand what type of processor our spouse is. Otherwise, their way of processing really could drive us a little nuts. 

Do you prefer to wrestle with facts and feelings on your own, within the silence of your own mind, as you come up with an answer to a decision? Or, do you prefer to verbally hash out your facts and feelings with your spouse or someone else as you come up with your answer?

As we remember that neither one of these are “correct”, here are a few intentional marriage tips you can try this week to improve your communication with your spouse.

Intentional Tips for Strengthening your Marriage this Week:

*Take time to identify whether you are an internal processor an external processor

*See if your spouse will do the same

*Discuss your thoughts on this topic with your spouse

*If your spouse is an internal processor, ask him if he feels you allow him the time he needs to process his thoughts

*If your spouse is an external processor, ask him if he feels he has adequate time to discuss and work through his feelings before he makes decisions

*Decide with your spouse what the two of you could do to respect the processing needed for the other spouse

Todd and I learned about this topic during our Marriage Mentoring Training with Mark and Jill Savage. You can find more about this in their book No More Perfect Marriages, available on Amazon.

Misty Cramer is an author & speaker who recently released her first book. The Every Day God, 40 Daily Devotions for Walking with God through Everyday Moments, quickly made its way to Amazon's #1 New Release and Best Seller lists in multiple categories. In this book, she authentically shares her own story to remind us all that God has a specific plan, even in the midst of life's messes. She has been married to Todd for 39 years and has five adult sons. While they enjoy their time as "empty nesters" in rural Michigan, they also love visits from their sons, two daughters-in-law, and two granddaughters. Misty sends out a monthly devotion as part of her newsletter, and she'd love to send it along to you. The link to subscribe to the devotion, as well as the link to Misty's book can be found below:

Head to this link if you’d like to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CH258Y14

Follow Misty on Facebook to receive daily encouragement: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063109547064

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